Why Me? Evelyn Blake, Sunday 15 March
Good evening ladies and gentlemen.
My name is Evelyn Blake - also known as Sparrow to some of you.
When I was asked to do this talk I wasn’t sure what I could say but my faith has given me the strength to come up with something.
I want to share with you a little of my life story and how I came to St. George’s Church and how important it and my faith has become.
One thing I should say is that I suffer from dementia, so if I lose my way, please bear with me!
I came from an extremely religious Roman Catholic family of 6 siblings. My father was Belgium/English and he met my mother during the war. He was in the RAF. She was French and was nursing him in the St. Charles hospital in North Kensington where he was recovering from being wounded.
After the war my parents moved to Essex. They were hard working. My father worked for a textile company and in the evening sold life insurance. In the evenings my mother also worked at a care home.
The textile company meant my father could buy material cheaply and my mother made clothes for us.
The weekly visit to Church was a good day for me -as it meant putting on my ‘Sunday best.’ which was my hand down clothes from my sisters.
My mother liked us to all dress the same, so the family would troop into church, seven children looking a bit like the Von Trapp children in the Sound of Music and people would exclaim “Here come the Blakes!”
At primary school I had this mantra ‘God first, others next, me last ’
I was definitely a bit of a free spirit. I won a place at the local grammar school but became very bored. I encouraged the other children to drink alchohol and eventually had to leave.
My parents couldn’t cope and eventually I was placed in voluntary care.
I lost my faith after leaving home at 13 years old
So began a period of running away from institutions. Once I was in Holloway prison and then they discovered I was underage so I was released. I lived with a family who had a small holding and then moved on.
By my late twenties I was the mother of three children. I was a fitness instructor and also did fitness testing, having done a short course at Loughborough University. And this may surprise you, me being a fitness instructor. I was also a functioning alcoholic.
I lost my youngest daughter into the social care system, (Which devastated me)
I got into the wrong company and went on a downward spiral of addiction and begging. The deceitfulness that comes with this was eating me up inside. (All of this to get my alcohol & drugs). I needed a £140 a day and being in Notting Hill and Holland Park I got it. I used to be outside Tesco begging and in the evening went to the doors of night clubs. At this time I also came across some St George's people, like Janie Dee, who helped me in BIG ways. I especially want to thank Janie for her love and support.
I’ve been free of all this from since attending St George’s. I had amazing support from the Blenheim “Turning Point Project” in Kensal Green. Where I have become a peer mentor.
I came across St George’s by accident one cold Winter Sunday morning some four years ago and found myself attending the 8.00 service.
(I was just starting rehabilitation for a long addiction to heroin and alcohol)
But it was the turning point in my life.
And from the moment I walked into St. George’s I felt welcome and accepted by this amazing congregation and the priests.
I have been given so many opportunities by this church
I’m looking forward to going on the pilgrimage to Israel this year as I am going with my extended church family – subject to Coronavirus.
I’m so excited about being given this opportunity to get closer to the Lord.
Thanks to Gods mercy I’ve been given another chance at life,,
I now finally feel I’ve come home,,
It’s been a long journey from my standing in the playground saying ‘God first ,others next, me last ,,’
To actually finding this is SO true and works for me,,,
So when I am in moments of doubt I just take the 5 minutes’ walk to St. George’s and get inspiration from a service or a prayer meeting or in fact a quiet moment in the beautiful garden at the back of the church.
And thanks to the Lord’s grace I’ve finally learnt to smile in the face of adversity.
I have been prepared to fail in order that I can receive... my upside down dream has been overturned by my faith in God
Great victory demands great defeat, and I’ve defeated my nemesis.
I’m here on earth still knowing that I CAN make a difference!
I was in real trouble and God didn’t send ‘someone’- he showed up himself ,,
I’ve been blessed by the people I have chosen to be in my life ..
I think I’ve chosen well —this community and the congregation from St George’s is and always been there for me ,,
I’m SO blessed to be part of this church...
God never fails. He’s been there for me through all of my adversity and also through my happy times.
I’m finally contented, because I’ve found my ‘forever home.’ I am where I am because of the choices I made yesterday.
Thank you Father Peter and Janie with your help with this sermon.
So thank you for taking the time to come and listen to me today,,
And a special thank you for everything that this amazing church and its congregation have done and is still doing for me.
THIS HAS BEEN AN HONOUR AND A PRIVILEGE
PRAISE BE TO GOD
AMEN
Evelyn chose the Lenten Hymn:
GOD of MERCY AND COMPASSION
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jc_JfqzdS2U
God of mercy and compassion,
Look with pity upon me,
Father, let me call Thee Father,
'Tis Thy child returns to Thee.
Refrain:
Jesus, Lord, I ask for mercy;
Let me not implore in vain;
All my sins, I now detest them,
Never will I sin again.
2. By my sins I have deserved
Death and endless misery,
Hell with all its pains and torments,
And for all eternity.
(Refrain)
3. By my sins I have abandoned
Right and claim to heav'n above.
Where the saints rejoice forever
In a boundless sea of love.
(Refrain)
4. See our Savior, bleeding, dying,
On the cross of Calvary;
To that cross my sins have nail'd Him,
Yet He bleeds and dies for me.
(Refrain)
Evelyn Blake
15 March 2020